


Morning After

by Red Eyes Black Scythe (VisceraNight)



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sexual References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Red%20Eyes%20Black%20Scythe
Summary: Stregobor accidentally oversleeps after inviting his secret lover to spend the night with him. Now he has to clean up a stinky bard and sneak him out without any of the other mages finding out.
Relationships: Valdo Marx/Stregobor
Kudos: 2
Collections: Sugar and Spice Witcher Bingo





	Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Sugar and Spice Witcher Bingo, prompt: waking up together.

~ Morning After ~

Sneaking his secret lover into the staff quarters at Ban Ard was not one of Stregobor's best ideas. He hadn't even thought it through particularly well, seeing as neither of them were exactly spring chickens and didn't have the kind of stamina it would have taken to engage in a third round of amorous activities - or even stay awake long enough to clean themselves up after the first two rounds.

Waking up curled up in his lover's arms should have been a pleasant experience, but seeing as their bodies were crusted with dried sweat and other bodily fluids, along with some other substances he'd rather not think about, it was decidedly less than pleasant. Especially once he glanced toward the window and saw how far the sun had risen in the sky.

Stregobor had only an hour until he was due to conduct his first class of the morning. The other instructors would already be up and about at this hour and he still had a sticky, stinky bard to deal with!

Valdo was rudely awakened by his lover shaking his shoulder and hissing, "Valdo, get up!"

He then lost the undigested remains of his dinner all over the bathroom floor as Stregobor teleported them directly into the bathing chamber, instead of _walking_ like a normal person.

"Disgusting," Stregobor snarled.

"A little warning would have been nice," Valdo snarked back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Couldn't we have just walked? And isn't traveling by portal within the school technically forbidden?"

"Could have just..." Stregobor repeated incredulously. "Do you know what time it is and how much trouble I would get in if I was caught smuggling you in here?"

He locked the door and hauled Valdo unceremoniously into the tub, which he filled by magic, and began to scrub his lover clean while Valdo spluttered indignantly.

A scant few minutes later, someone tried to enter the room but found it locked.

"Hey, who's in there? Why is this locked?" Artorius Vigo shouted from the other side of the door.

"It's me, Stregobor," Stregobor answered.

Valdo remained blessedly quiet.

"Other people like to wash up before our lectures too, you know. Why do you have the door locked? What are you doing in there?"

"I am washing my asshole," Stregobor deadpanned.

Despite being the asshole in question, Valdo fought down a hysterical giggle at the double meaning of his lover's words.

An uncomfortable silence stretched on for several long moments, until Artorius said, "Very well, then. Carry on. Let me know when you're done in there."

Valdo, who certainly wasn't going to wash himself after the shoddy way he'd been treated this morning, waited for his lover to finish cleaning him up.

Unfortunately, Stregobor hadn't thought to teleport clean clothes into the bathroom with them, so he cloaked them both in illusions resembling their usual outfits, before sneaking the bard out of the building.

"I never want to go through that again," Valdo said, once he was safely outside.

"Fine. We can go to your place next time, then."

Stregobor went back inside to put actual clothes on and prepare for his classes. He never did tell Artorius that the bathroom was free, although whether that was by design or he simply forgot, his colleague would never know.

~end~


End file.
